"home" alone....

Last week, I told one of my colleagues that I'll be 'on leave' for a week (which is not true) and 2 of my other colleagues helped me to make it sounds even real. I even asked her not to miss me while I'm away. Besides that, one of my colleagues will be on leave today as well.

Last night, I received SMS from another colleague that she injured her leg and need to consult a doctor today, which means she'll be on medical leave.

This morning, I received a call from another colleague who called in sick today. Meaning to say, 3 of my colleagues are not working today, so left me and the one whom I told to that I'll be "on leave" for a week....

8.30am passed and I wonder why is she not here yet?? 

Almost 9.00am and still not here.... sense something is not right, I quickly check from my system and to my surprise, she is on leave as well...

So now, me, "h0Ome" alone today and such a Blue Monday and in fact it is really a Monday Blue today for me ..... so much looking forward for time-out from Monday Blue.....

Jz-in-time

Waking up with a 'no mood to work today' kind of mood.

As I prepare, I managed to get over 'that' mood and off I head to work. 

My daily route, I turn out from the 1st traffic light of my housing area and I am still on the accelerate pedal as I come to the 2nd traffic light. To my very surprise, I saw cars and bikers turning out from the left into the road on my right when the light of my lane shows green. I tell myself, "why are they igrnoring red light when my lane shows green light?"

BREAK~!~!~!~!

Lucky enough my mind woke up in time for me to hit on the break pedal and I was just few inches out from the line.... because ..... because the light of my lane is actually showing RED and NOT GREEN!!!..... I can't afford to imagine how horror it will turn out to be if my mind did not wake up on time and keep on accelerating.... 

I remember how the drivers and bikers look at me when they drive pass me when I'm actually still moving on...... So sorry that I my mind miscomprehend the green light is showing left turn not going straight....

Phew~~ thank goodness I make it on time..... will concentrate and more careful when I'm on the road..... don't mind if it is my life but innocent life too involved is something I will never forgive myself on that....

not gettin' better

I thought I will feel better today after yesterday.

I thought I will feel better today after waking up this morning.

But my thought is nothing at all that I'm not feeling better. My head is still against me and it seems to be even worse than yesterday.

Not pretty sure what is going on inside my head again. Looks like this will take awhile again for it to be gone. Really hope it will not take awhile.... really hope it will be gone soon.....

There must be away to "cure" this..... the "cure" should be somewhere out there that I haven't discover it..... or probably the "cure" is already right beside me but I'm not sure if the "cure" is meant for me or the "cure" that I can look forward to.....

Wish I'll get over it soon.... soon for me to feel better as well....

wat is wrong?

I think I sleep well but I don't know why am I still waking up with an achin' head. Sometimes I just don't really understand "it".... is "it" my head or not??

Just don't know what is happening to me again... not only waking up with anchin' head but also feeling so tensed up which makes my headache even worst. Making me feelin' so like fallin' sick....

Nevermind with the headache, nevermind with the tense.... BUT .... what mind me most is I don't know what is the cause of my tense as it is making me so unwell that my head hurts on and off. 

I really want to look for the switch so that I can use a tape to stick on it to remain as off.

Trying to ease my mind but it still feel so tense up.

What is wrong??

Need a quite time.... really really need a quite time for me to hear my innerself.... for me to understand "it" and I'll be alright after that.....(hope so).....

.....hhHMmm.....

Slept early last night...erm... 10 something consider early right....

Had some disturbance in my mind however, tiredness got over it that I fall asleep within minutes besides ignoring my headache & stomach uneasiness......

Although I get to fall asleep so soon...but always sleepless night again and again..... why can't I have good night sleep again and again??

Waking up few times in a night.....sigh..... and once was caused by sudden leg cramp which hurts so much..... 

I remember the last time I had the same experience was the night before my leg got swollen..... oh.... hope this won't come back again....  *touch wood*... NO, enough with times of consultations and medication...real strong medication, I think it is over.

 

.......woke up with an extreme headache today..... Lucky it went off after awhile and left with mild headache which able to have me drive to work. Too bad it still stays on me right now and I really hope it won't last throughout the day......hmmm...... not today please.....

caRRot cAk3

I baked this cake on Saturday evening with someone who have given me such a great big hands for the very first time throughout the baking process..... Am really glad and appreciates the great hands given....

Ingredients: ...brown sugar... caster sugar... veg oil... eggs... flour... orange zest... carrots... walnuts... 

Method: ...weighing... sifting... cutting... peeling... shredding... chopping... cracking... mixing.....

It did took awhile to prepare all the ingredients before I could start mixing. Preparation done and it is mixing time, portion by portion, ingredient by ingredient until it's all prefectly mixed and off it's ready to go into the oven to bake for about 1 hour or till it is set.

Nice aroma filled the whole house during the baking.... 

One hour later, the cake is all set and left to be cooled.... can't do the icing yet and shall be done next day; the lemonly creamy cheezy icing for the cake.

Phew..... decorations......took me awhile to coat the cake with the prepared cream cheeze. YEah....really really took sometime for me to do since I never know how to decor a cake, which ends up I make a muddy surface but the whole cake looked so whitish that I decided to shred some carrots and add it around the cake as additional decor....

VOILA~~~ the cake is pretty ready now for camera time ...hehehe..... can't stop but continue snappin' & snappin' .....

How is it gona taste like? Nice as how it looks like?

No one can taste yet until I say BECAUSE..... I need to make sure I'm satisfied with pictures I've snapped  :p......

I make final shooting early this morning before I go to work........good or not I only can find out when I arrive to office and check out the photos.... well, am satisfy yet not so satisfy with the photos.... but time for me to go and I just let it be.....

Hours later received a call from Mum and I knew she gona ask if the cake can be eaten since I've 'open ceremony' earlier ...hehehe.... so anxious to know if it tasted good or not, I SMSed Mum to ask for comment but she called instead and said it taste so good..... yipee~~~ 

Can't wait to go home and try it out myself too...... as I reached home, the first thing I did is have a slice for myself and guess what, I never like carrot cake but this is my very first Carrot Cake I ever like with a very first such baking experience I ever had.....

Carrot Cake * Lemonly Creamy Cheezy

a shoulder needed

achin heart....
achin head....
teary eyes....
blank mind....
speechless....
emotion running.... super low.....

~~sigh~~

that's all i could describe of myself right now.... almost time to head home....
really wish i can overcome this pretty soon....

mood swing ??

it's too early to have mood swing...
i dono why but i just don't feel good since early of the day.

waking up from the wrong side of the bed? probably..... i hope it is, i hope it is not.

thought that i'll feel better soon later by noon but seems like i still feel the same way as i felt this morning...or probably just got worst....
don't feel like doin anything ... just feel like being alone, all by myself...... just feel like heading home, lying blankly on bed right away.....hoping that i will get over my feelings soon.

hmmm... impossible.... still have hours more to go before i could do so....
wish that the time flies faster than any other day...

time pass so fast during "bright" time
BUT
pass so slow during "dark" time

so unfair~~~

another sad news!

oh no~~ another sad morning....
need to hold back my tears again....

Woman run over after snatch thieves cause her to fall from her motorcycle - theStar, 07 May 09
another case in just days......
what is wrong with this country?
where is justice?
why people are getting more & more inhumane?
violent attack, brutal killing....
no one has any rights to snatch people's life. NO ONE!
is this some kind of fun hobby you killers enjoyin out there?

This is not one life we are talking about...the woman here is 4 months pregnant!! Previous case was 2 months pregnant!! She & her family is expecting a new life. You never know how much it meant to them and now you killers took every piece of happiness just because you want to 'satisfy' yourself & your needs?

put yourself in the victim's shoes....
think hard...how would you feel if you were them??
angry? fury? heartbroken? so much want to hunt down the life snatcher & put behind the bars?

don't blame on the economy crisis....
don't blame on financial crisis....
don't blame on no place for you to spend your free time...
BUT
blame on yourself~

Everyone is facing the same crisis as you are.
Everyone is working & struggling so hard to earn a living & to feed hungry tummies back at home.
BUT you, you pitiless creature took everything so easily.

If a handicapped can work their way to earn a living why can't you?
You choose the easy way which is a totally inhumane.

When will this be put to the end?
When will this killers be brought to justice?
When will this killers be put behind the bars?
What will be the future for our kids like?
For how long more we need to live in fear?

L-O-V-E

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can

Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you - Nat King Cole

Never Shout

I love this.....
Meaningful & true....

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'
Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that..'
'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.

Finally he explained,

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'

Then the saint asked,

'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'

The saint continued,

'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

MORAL OF THE STORY
When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

sad news :(

Sad news to start my day.
A daily routine for me to read the news on web once I arrive to office.
Try so hard to hold back my tears after reading the news since I'm in the office.

Pregnant woman dies after thieves pull her off motorcycle - theStar 06 May 09
I remember I heard this news over the TV last night but it was Chinese news so I couldn't catch what is it about.
The image of the victim's husband teary & clinging on his 2 stepchild is still clear in my mind.
I only know the exact story after reading the news earlier..... such a distress news.
So heartbreaking as the man is so much looking forward to move on his new life after a sad past but now he just have to live in past again.....
What is wrong with this people? Not only snatching people's belongings but they've gone too far that they snatched people's life too!
Authority.... please do something!~!~


Plight of the swamp dogs - theStar 06 May 09
Another sad news..... although they are animals but they are one of the living thing like us... its just that they live different way from human.
That doesn't mean we human can treat the animal so cruel that you leave them like that.
This is not the way to curb the problem..... human has brain, animals don't so human should use their brain to solve the problem.... not just throw them to some island and leave them starve to death.....
Imagine it yourself.... the dogs don't know what is going on that they were just sent off to another place....all this while it thought we were their friends... that is why it tried to swim back to their friends cause they miss us without thinking that they would survive or drown they just can't make it back meeting us...


This is so cruel.... where is your humane thoughts???

wat a day.....

Woke up 4 a.m. from bed.
Off to work with sleepy and achin' head.
Not a good start at all for today.
Coffee ain't helpin' me to go through the day.

Even my tummy is giving me a hard time~

1st half of the day is tough.....
same goes for 2nd half of the day......

Suddenly felt so "exhausted" from things..... what do I really mean?
...just feeling unusually "exhausted" now ... should I just prepared myself for what ever "storm" that will come?

Am I being sensitive...??
Am I thinking too much...??
I wish I know the answer... one day will...
I should just keep on telling myself to be patient and time will tell....

Today shall remain in today~~

*c3l!n3* .... take a deep breath..., hold.... & release.....

4 in the mornin'

Sigh.... waking up 4 a.m. today given me a bad start for the day....
How often more will I wake up at such time??

It's only 10 a.m. now and I have like more than half a day to go through with this sleepy & achin head I'm having right now~~

... so so much wanted to go home & zzzz with my huggies....

Will coffee helpS?
Nah... I don't tink so...coffee is just my liking but never wakes me up ...hmm....

Wish time could pass faster today~~