it's been replaced...

It has been years I've been using IT and IT worn off day by day.

I always wanted to change IT but I just couldn't spot the right one.

Either I couldn't find IT or IT just don't looks right to me.....

Still couldn't find the one I like the moment I see IT.

However, finally today...... tonight IT was found.

Founded by someone and I just like IT the moment I see IT.

Surprised and unexpected...... not sure how to describe ... I'm just so glad, happy and felt so sweet~ so thoughtful....

Yes, finally IT has been replaced.... replaced by someone...

Really like IT ...... appreciate what has been done :)

Thank you~~

confirmation...?

.... 3rd month now .....

is everything okie?

is everything alright?

is everything fine?

.....6th month next.....

will everything remain okie?

will everything remain alright?

will everything remain fine?

brighten up yet?

I received an e-mail from someone... the very first e-mail which was in my Inbox since afternoon and I did not realize it was there untill tonight...... Not sure what is the content but the moment I open, lil' cuties are everywhere in between lines and sentences.....

I didn't realize it was a long cute & sweety mail untill I read till the end.

Not sure how to reply.... not sure what I should reply.... but a voice inside me is telling me that I should reply this mail.

Think.... type... delete.... and this goes on and on for awhile.....

Really took me awhile before I could go on well with the content.

As I'm done and ready to click Send, suddenly .... suddenly my explorer slowed down and ... and it crashed!!

Oh no.. oh no~~ the content... my reply.... I didn't save it...

Oh no~ please don't let me redo it again... please save it...

But.. but... hmmm..... it's all gone... it's not saved.....

I don't know what I've mentioned in the content... it just came across my mind and I just keep on typing... now... *sob*sob* ..... not sure if I'm able to do it again.... but I knew I have to reply no matter how before I head on to bed...otherwise, I won't be able to sleep soundly again....

Think.... type... delete.... and this goes on and on for awhile again.....

Finally, I did reply the cutie mail.....

Brighten up by the visit, double brighten up with the cutie mail...

Cutie & Lovely Mail~

something is lost

I've forgotten how does it feel like after so long and I thought that I will not feel it again. 

It took me so long to chase it away but this feeling is coming back to me now.

The feeling of lost....

The feeling of uncertainty....

Felt like misplacing something somewhere.....

....and that something seems to be my heart....

Don't know where I have left it...

Don't know when I have left it...

Don't know how I have left it...

Just hope that it will be found & returned back to me soon....

silly me....

I don't know what exactly makes myself feel that I'm so silly....

Being so silly for thinking too much?

Being so silly for coming up with so many thoughts? 

Being so silly for going through what I've gone through just to tell which in the end, it makes me feel that I have been over-reacted to it?

.....am I?

I'm just going through a serious thought as I felt it is something that need such thinking as I don't want to make any unwanted mistakes and in the end regret for not thinking over any consequences that may have....

Well, somehow it really makes me feel that I really think too much into depth.... probably it is really nothing at all and probably the reaction is just to lessen my burden which I've been carried for so long....

So silly yet so confused....

Wish that I could get over all this soon....

it is told now...

Finally it has been told now and I guess there's nothing else that I have not tell....

I do feel better after telling but now new thoughts come flooding my mind....

Is it right for me to tell it now?

Is it right for me to tell it out?

How and what is the reaction?

Is it over now?

Can there be a full stop now?

Can I face it?

If I face it how should I be and what should I say?

Is it alrite?

Should I go on and is it okie to move on?

Should I give it a chance?

Fear....  fear....  fear...

on and on my mind is flooding .... I wish I can fall asleep now to put a stop on it now......

to tell or not to?

I've been thinking and thinking and wondering for very long on whether I should tell or not.

The more I think the further I go.....

The more I think the more fear I felt....

I don't know when is the right time.

I don't know what is the outcome.

I don't know how is the reaction.

I don't know how to face it.

I don't know if this is the end.

I really need to prepare myself and gather all my courage before I could tell. After so long, I think I did prepared myself and also gathered my courage as I really do wan to tell soon. But I don't know if now is the right time and whether or not I'm really prepared for it outcome.....

Some how I have a strong feeling telling me that I should tell it soon now before everything is built and firm along the way as time keeps ticking.... If I don't tell it earlier, it will be more difficult and painful in the end... 

The risk is everywhere at anytime whether it is now or later.... there's always a risk....

If I tell it now, things may end... if I tell it later, things may end too... 

But if I tell it now and things are still the same then what about in future??

I think ... I should tell it soon now..... 

preparing first meal....

There are so many first time moments along the journey.....

However, many first time moments yet to discover along the journey.....

But as long as the journey goes on,

First time moments will always be found.....

Today, I get the chance to prepare a meal for someone.....

First time preparing a meal for someone......

Although it is just a simple almost ready meal,

But we did had a great meal....

Caborrana alike pasta (tuna, mushroom & lotsa ♥)

how to move on?

So many things, too many things keep lingering in my mind which is restraining me from moving on.... Not that I don't want to let it go but it is things that are tagging me all along.....

I wish that everything can be buried deep down into the earth and leaving me completely like it never happened to me before.

So much want to move on...

Just move on and search for the life I wanted to lead. 

A life that will lead me on to far far land.... away from what I wanted to be away from for the rest of life.

Away from somethings which I wish it never happened before. 

How can I move on? 

How should I move on?

"suffocated"

Every year, around this season, I will be "suffocated".....

Can't bare with this season.... once I saw one or two somewhere some place, I'll start preparing myself for the worst ....

Arghh~~ hate it so much~~

Was so headache even when I'm dozing off last night. I'm not sure I've slept for how long but was suddenly woken up by some pitchy sound.... was kind of blur and don't know what was that, so I gather my mind to interpret what was that sound? It was the sound of voices just right outside my bedroom door... laugh, giggles & chatters of mum, dad & sisters.... 

But .... but.... wait a minute~

As I was gathering my mind, there's some kind of smell.... something extremly familiar and makes me feel so uneasy.... I make my mind clearer and clearer and WHAT!!!! 

First, I was surprised by pitchy sound and now what....... I'm "suffocated" by the smell of durian???

Ew~~~~  headache + durian smell = Super Headache + Suffocated >.<"

Tiger Balm to the rescue... but don't know why it just can't over come the smell..... sighh.... next, pillow to the rescue.... gee~~~ 

Lucky enough the smell is gone when I woke up this morning... phew~~  'cos they knew I'll "scream" when I wake up the next day to find out (but they didn't know I've FACED it last night before they clear the "evidence"), so they've settled all into containers and the husk was already outside in the bin too..... thank goodness.... otherwise, another super headache day ....

My Escapade II

.....a little bit of similarity yet a little bit of difference.......

no matter what, sweetness & laughter is all that matters in the end~

the moments of togetherness....

the moments of closeness....