c3|!n3m!n9

lonely? disappointment?

2010-01-02T13:05:00.004+08:00

I should have gone back home to usher New Year & celebrate mum's Birthday today rather than being alone here....

Been looking forward to be together with someone on New Year but never happened and maybe someone never thought about it.

Been looking forward to welcome Christmas together with someone but never happened because I knew someone has to concentrate on something & get it done..... felt so empty on Christmas....

Been looking forward to celebrate someone's 1st birthday together but never got the chance to do so.....because someone never thought about it.

Felt things changed when we were just friends and now..... sometimes felt friends get to be closer and joyful than anyone else.... does this mean should have just remained as friends? This happened now & in the past.... is it common??

Sometimes felt so left out.... felt been treated differently..... felt always been misunderstood......

Wanted to do things together but been being patient and not wanted to disturb or asking for something because I knew someone need to concentrate on getting things done but when there's time, it is always friends that come first......

Am I not belong to someone I belong to now??

Am I a mistake for someone??

Am I not good enough for someone??

Am I a burden to someone??

Am I asking too much from someone when it is just a simple one for once in a while??

Am I not worth for someone??

Am I a shame for someone??

Is it because of who am I?

Is it because of my past that I can't never ask or wish for?

Who am I now??

don't seems good.....

2010-01-02T12:51:00.003+08:00

It's new year.....

I've wished it will be a better year & a new beginning but I don't know why, today is just the second and I feel the same as in 2009.

I've wished that everything will be left behind in 2009 & let me move forward to 2010 but it has been following me to new year.....

Will it be better soon? Will it?

How come I have to go go through the same situation again and again?

Is it that I don't deserve to have a better one just because I've done mistake for once?

If this is a so called punishment, I rather leave everything and be all by myself....

So exhausted from feelings..... maybe I will be better if I don't have feelings....

.... 6 months

2009-09-15T17:08:00.003+08:00

Time past so fast that exactly today, we've walk down the road together for half a year.

Am glad that we are able to walk together till this far and am definitely looking forward to continue walking down together the remaining road.
Only if you allow me to do so...
Only if you want me to do so...

3 months ago, I'm thinking about confirmation today but today I think the confirmation is not today. However, soon the confirmation day will come and I hope before and after the day comes, it will not bring any effect between us.

Although just a half year journey, I really appreciates every single thing done and been through together......we opened up, we talked, we shared, we understand..... most important, we acknowledge and we accept.....

learn....

2009-09-10T07:29:00.006+08:00

- a cooling morning to cool things off -

I've forgotten how does it feels like after so many years until almost 6 months ago, I slowly felt all the wonderful feelings again as day goes by.

I've been thinking all the way to work and I come to realize the mistakes I'm doing right now and the mistakes I will make soon.

Maybe it is true, maybe it is right.
I have think too far, I have think too much.
I should not do so, I should not.

Perhaps I'm too anxious and at the same time I'm too excited to look forward and move on which makes me tend to forget my 'ground' at times.

I realized now and I should learn to fully open up to accept & live with what I have now.
I should learn how to overcome my so many thoughts.
I should learn to live in reality....
Future is too abstract to live for, reality is what I should live and appreciate most. However, a plan is still a must in reality in order to move on to future.

self anger

2009-09-10T01:30:00.004+08:00

So much want to be alone all by myself now, staying awake and cry throughout the night. After that, I shall forget everything by dawn.

Am so angry of myself.... Angry of what I've just did and done.

Why do I always have to make the same mistakes?
Why do I always have to make myself live in misery?
Why I just can't learn to be happier with what I have now?
Why am I making myself like that?

I really don't understand myself. Is it because I don't know exactly what I want? Or is it because .... is it because I think too much? Life shouldn't be so complicated but why am I making myself living so much complication? I am grateful with what I have now then why I am still in such way?

One side of me tell me to be this, another side of me tell me to be that. I am so fully aware of everything but why oh why I still keep doing the same mistakes again and again?

Maybe I'm a troubled girl. A girl who is bad and cannot be forgiven. A girl who don't deserves happiness from someone and anyone. Most of all, a girl who really think too much..... at times, I so much wanted to have my memories been washed away so that I could be a new person to start a new life....

09-09-09

2009-09-09T09:09:00.003+08:00

I believe that people from around the globe find this date special.... 09 September '09. Myself find it special in a way too as it only happens once in our lifetime; 09-09-09.

However, someone told me that 09-09-09 is just another one of the special days in our life. I have do agree with this because every single seconds, minutes, hours & days in our life is special.

Special or not is depends on how a person sees it as every single thing is a creation.

feeling SWEET

2009-09-07T12:57:00.005+08:00

What a good start for today. Wish it will be a good start throughout the week. It will be great if it can be for as long as it can be.

Feel so sweet to flash back the sweet memories together. The warmth and closeness makes me feel as if it just happened sometime..... yesterday.

As we flash back our memories, we tend to blush and chuckle of what we have gone through together; joy and laughter, sorrow and tears, moments and celebrations..... So much memories we have in such a period of time.

Really looking forward for more Sweet Memories to come. I believe we are able to make it come true and that we will make it come true.

Sweet Memories will remain fresh in our memories although many are yet to come.

Am missing someone and we will be able to make it through this.

indescribable...

2009-09-04T16:43:00.001+08:00

The day almost ended yet I'm still feeling the same way. In such a way which I don't know exactly how to describe it. All I know is, I've been feeling such a way since I woke up this morning.

Mentioning about waking up this morning actually reminds me how restless am I last night. I went to bed well quite early compared to any other nights that I could remember but I just don't know why I keep on waking up for no reason... So restless. Just don't know why.

Back to today.... till now, all I could describe what I felt like today is.... a day with not much conversation; not much emotion; felt like keeping everything to myself; felt of wanting to be alone; just want to isolate myself out from everyone....

This doesn't mean that I am moody.... However, I still manage to get my works done today after 2 days called in sick.

I really couldn't find the right description to describe today-myself.

Maybe this is the actual me. I'm back to myself again.... Quite, empty, emotionless, keeping to myself, and pretend that I'm alright with everything.

is it common?

2009-09-03T22:05:00.000+08:00

I do feel better than day 1. Good thing is fever gone but I still have to continue on medication.

Was hoping so much to feel painless but it seems that I have to rely on the pain killer in order to breath in easily without pain.

Doctor said it is common but I don't think so. I did nothing like what he said and this is the first time I feel such a way. So, I don't think it is common.

At the moment, I really have to rely on the medicine in order to breathe in without pain but for how long? When will I recover from it? How? Obviously pain killer is not a cure, by its name, it is just taking away the pain so that I can breath better.

Hmmm.... What is really wrong with me?

Felt the same fear again....

Fingers crossed, always~

feeling better

2009-09-02T16:39:00.000+08:00

Just took medicine for once and plenty of rest, I am feeling better now.

Although I do still have some pain and breathing difficulties but definately not as bad as before. Nose air way cleared too and also felt temperature down too.

The doctor said the pain killer is to help me to reduce the pain while breathing but I hope it is not because I'm scared that the pain is back again once the medicine effect is over.

Shall keep my fingers crossed again~

Hate to take so much medicine at one time but this time I can actually feel the effect of the medicine kicks in real fast.

weak??

2009-09-02T10:51:00.000+08:00

Had breathing difficulties yesterday. Felt so uneasy and scared till I don't dare to sleep. Have not been late to bed for quite sometime untill last night. Because, I have the feeling of fear that I will not open my eyes again.

I told myself to consult a doctor if my condition is not getting better when I wake up. Yes, it's not getting any better today.

Was feeling ok except breathing difficulties remained untill when I reach office, I felt a little bit cold. Thought it was normal since the usual morning temperature check at work shows only 35 degrees but I find it so unusually low me. But as I was preparing to clinic, I suddenly felt chilling cold and started shivering.

I went to consult for my breathing difficulties but in the end, more and more questions was asked by the doctor because the doctor found that temperature taken from forehead is over 38 degrees. He was suprised and double confirm by temperature my ear. Yes, I'm having high fever now.

Was given a few medication as a precaution too due to current situation on 'HiNi'.

Hope the medication helps to ease my breathing difficulties and prevent me from 'HiNi'.

Hope someone won't worry so much....
Am sorry~
Shall keep our fingers crossed~

keep tossing around

2009-09-01T08:02:00.003+08:00

Woke up for times at wee hours, due to the heavy down pour. The first thing came in my mind was, "please stop raining". I quickly check what time it is and sigh in relieved when it was just 3 something in the morning; thinking the rain will stop by the time it is 6am.

I can't remember how many times I keep on waking up to check the time and listen if it is still raining outside. I keep on tossing around on my bed and keep wondering, hoping so much for the rain to stop soon. For the first time I keep on hoping for the rain to stop after my house was hit by flash flood years ago ...... why? ....... because ...... it will be inconvenient for someone to pack things into the car and it will be dangerous to drive in rain for a long journey.....

Was thankful the rain stopped before the someone starts journey.

Will be missing someone.....
Missing someone since the moment we bid goodbye~

dislike this feeling...

2009-08-31T23:12:00.004+08:00

Just another few more hours to go before departure.

So much dislike this feeling.
Feeling of physically far away.
Feeling of wonder when will be together again. The never ending wonders will keep on lingering in my mind...

How I wish this never happen to me.
How I wish this day never have to come.

Seems like another difficult bed time... Will try to... Hope both will be able to sleep well... It is important for someone.

I tell myself, to be strong.
I tell myself, distance doesn't matters.
I tell myself, we will be the same and stay in touch like we always did.

Pray for someone for safe journey and good health & life all the time...

tiny fur fur...

2009-08-25T21:52:00.003+08:00

Ooo~~ pups growing real fast ya.

When they were just born, their skin is so redish pink.

But, As days go by, the redish pink started to fade and slowly replaced by dark patches which will be the design of their growing fur.

So cute to spot tiny furs covering their body now.

Their eyes are still shut with no sense of direction yet. So they uses their body and tiny weak legs, wiggle waggle around.

Am so amazed by the pups' behavior..... they started to behave like the grown up hamster; such as scratching and brushing their whiskes. So cute~

Besides that, they started wrestling too with their eyes still shut.... Cool~

Can't wait for their eyes to open and grow little more furs. Cause I can start to pet them and scoop them up in my hands :)

Their are even more cute when they started to run around.

Hope they'll grow even faster so that someone is able to play with them before leaving......

what should I be?

2009-08-25T14:56:00.010+08:00

I like to learn and I like to offer my helping hands.

But everythime when I do so, people tend to let go their responsibility and in the end it become my responsibility.

How can this ever happened?

Not that I am an irresponsible person. Not that I don't like taking up responsiblities.

It is just so much unacceptable for a person to be irresponsible just because they had a helping hand.

Should I be an ignorant person?

Should I be a selfish person?

Should I be torns among the roses?

..... should I be ..... should I be ..... should I be .....

People are so meant or is it myself being naive?

almost near....

2009-08-21T16:07:00.009+08:00

Wonder how often do I have to go through departing moments...

Really not easy but not sure if this is a must for every single person to go through in their life.

As clock keeps ticking, the day is drawing near.

As I look at the calendar, the day is just days away from now.

So so soon.....

I wish the day is still far away and yet to come but as long as the earth keeps spining...... the clock keeps ticking...... the day is nearer and nearer.

At once, I wish July ends faster to move on to August.

Now, how I wish August never started so that September is still far away...

This sounded so ironic...

:D surprised & grateful~

2009-08-20T08:56:00.009+08:00

- "Rainbow Day" -

Start work as usual, another day to rush my work.... have to get things done, hopefully by today.

As I work, I heard some familiar ringtone. My phone rings. First thought, it is unsual to receive a call from this particular caller at this time.... wondering what happened??

OH~~

A surprised breakfast is on the way.....

So so so surprised that I thought I am dreaming. By looking at the time, it's almost for to clock in for work too, hopefully can make it on time.

Am so surprised & greatful~

Thank you for making up my day unexpectedly :)

rejected Pup :(

2009-08-19T07:32:00.009+08:00

The very first thing I did when I woke up this morning was checking on Hammy and the pups.

What I fear most happened.....

Hammy ate the pup!

It should be the one which was seen being ignored by Hammy last night.

Hmmm...... am so dumbfounded by the scene leaving me so much in despair now :(

Hope Hammy is not do it again to the other pups.

So much wanted to keep an eye on Hammy ..... sigh......

Hammy is a Mum :)

2009-08-18T20:58:00.005+08:00

Yesterday, I transferred Hammy to a new tank cos she keeps biting the cage bar. Furthermore, she's pregnant and I don't want the biting habits harmed herself & soon to be born pups.

I was wondering the whole morning & surfing around to gather some info on Winter White's pregnancy and I found that the gestation is around 14-16 days or to 21 days. Meaning to say, Hammy will give birth anytime soon. Probably by this week.

After having dinner, we rushed home to set up for Hammy's nesting.

The moment I see the tank where Hammy is, I saw many tiny movements in between the bedding. I am so excited that I quickly take a closer look to confirm what I have in mind.....

Yes, it is the day!

The pups!

Hammy gave birth to 6 little pups......

So glad that someone is able to see the birth of hamster :) just like what I wished for.

It seems like on of the pups being left out from feeding.... I have a feeling that this poor little pup is ebing rejected by Hammy.... Feel so... hmmm.... Hope everything is alright, nothing bad.... hope Hammy will accept the pup back.....

Anyhow, feel so proud, our first care together~

http://www.hamster-zone.com

Early again.....

2009-08-15T09:11:00.003+08:00

After tiring week and weeks, finally it's weekend again.

Last night, I told myself to sleep well and hope I'll be able to wake up late the next day.

But, I woke up unusually early again today......sigh.......

I tried to sleep back but my mind already started to wonder here and there. No choice, I got up from bed and start doing some chores.

And now, I am here surfing and blogging one my unusual early morning again on weekend while many are still sound asleep....

Breakfast

2009-08-14T08:43:00.003+08:00

Last night, I think over what to have for breakfast today and I thought of having "roti telur".

However, the traffic to work was so hectic and I have to give a miss for "roti telur".

Suddenly, someone suggested to have a packed breakfast to office and I find it is a great idea.

Nevermind that we don't get to have breakfast together to work but at least I have a packed breakfast before to work although is not "roti telur" but I'm glad.

Was glad that along the way, we get to share our first breakfast together at some place too :)

Besides from "roti telur" was our first breakfast I had before to work.

How could I ever forget about it.....

Thank you for the breakfast~

Sunshine

2009-08-11T08:05:00.007+08:00

- Sunny Morning -

I was so motivated throughout yesterday but was down before I call it a day.

However, am glad we did manage to talk about it; although little but it is still better than not at all.

I was not so into waking up this morning, probably due to over exhausted from matters....

Off I drove to work in a not so good mood and arrive in office feeling so much wanted to go back home and sleep.

Not long later.....

A message received; a message from someone and immediately I felt sun shine upon me.

Thank you for shining my day ~

M motivated

2009-08-10T12:33:00.007+08:00

- Raining Morning -

Brithday just passed.

Don't know why I somehow still feel in a low mode .... probably am still in exhausted mode after so many things happening to me.....

It is a cold Monday morning and makes it even more a Monday Blue.

However, I felt today will be a different Monday and yes, it is different.

As I saw a message left by someone and it makes me feel motivated.

The message reads out like this.....

....... New Day New Week New Start... for D-P ......

The message did keeps me motivated.

I do strongly feel so ~

~ the Pink & Green day ~

2009-08-08T17:31:00.026+08:00

..... I wonder why my bag is unusually heavy??

It was heavier than last night ......

Yes, just my clothes and some make up stuff but ......

Until when I start unpacking my bag, I found this underneath some stuffs.....

Wonder what is inside & there is this .....

And inside it I have this.....

Am so glad it's from special someone :)

Such an unexepected & coincident gift ......

Unexpected to receive a gift,

Coincidently the gift colors match the shirt we are wearing.

And I called it the Pink & Green day ~

Realized ...

2009-08-05T06:29:00.005+08:00

As I woke up this morning, I realized something......

I finally realized the dream I dreamt last week.

The dream about something I fear of always......

Some said a dreamer's dream foretells a dreamer's destiny.

Is this true? Is it not?

I don't really believe it until today I realize of my dream.

Should I accept it as true or not?

Or should I accept it until it really comes true?

Why does bad dreams often happened for real?

Why not sweet dreams so that everyone lives a sweet life?

Is this part of God's will?

Seeing His Creation going through ups & downs in life.....

I know..... this is part of His will.

A way to make His Creation learn & grow through the path He destined for His Creation~

I hope I can be strong & remain strong till the end.

Encouragement & support is what I really need to push it through this destiny.

The destiny which He created, the destiny I have chosen & started.

Since there is always a start, there should be a way to stop too.

I hope he will stand by me.....

Am sorry and thank you~

....caught in between....

2009-08-04T13:27:00.006+08:00

So much looking forward for this weekend and at the same time so much hoping that still a long way to go before weekend....

Really don't know how.... so much caught in between.....

Should I wish for sooner weekend so that everything will is over soon?

Dilemma ....... always~

Not looking forward

2009-08-04T07:32:00.004+08:00

For the very first time, I'm not looking forward for the weekend especially this coming weekend.

I wish the day is still far away......

I wish the day had passed.....

Not sure if I'm able to stay strong till the day;

Not sure if I'm able to remain strong after the day.

Sometimes I strongly feel that taking the 'short cut' is the best way although others might be hurt most.

But, this is the only way everything will come to an end completely in me and one day others will be able to recover their feelings .....

Hello August~

2009-08-01T10:25:00.003+08:00

Goodbye July & Hello August.....

Although it don't seems to end as I hoped for and having my pillow wet in the end throughout the final night of July but I'm still looking forward towards for a better August.

I did thought of many things, however, I will remain telling myself that in order to have a better August.... not only August but in many months to come, I shall not make myself keep thinking on things that may or may not happen now or in near future.

Why??

Well, just a way not to hurt myself for anything that don't go the way I've thought of.

......August...... here I am now......

July~August

2009-08-01T02:34:00.003+08:00

Have I hoped too much?
Have I expect too much?
All I hope & expect is just end July well & welcome August with a big heart.
Am so looking forward that August shall be better than July but.....
I doubt on it.....

Feel so opposite than what I'm supposed to feel like when July ends....
Don't seems right however nothing seems wrong too....
Then what exactly happened??

And I don't know why, felt such a far distance between D-P tonight....
Really don't know why....
Felt left out & somehow did felt being ignored in a way.

I do understand completely of why certain things have to be in such way, but I guess I'm in the 'explode' stage.....
I truly understand and guess exhaust lead towards the 'explosion' without knowing the exact reason....

Just a simple hope....
hope for a better August ahead after returning from dreamland....

Family

2009-07-31T09:39:00.013+08:00

I received an e-mail today & was very much moved by the contents.
So, I decided to post it up here....
It is about Family~
"...... I ran into a stranger as he passed by.
"Oh excuse me please," was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too. I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home, a different story is told.
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, while cooking the evening meal, my son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use but the family you love, you seems to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor, you'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small and now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed.
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree. I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today. I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue." ....."
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?

So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?

FAMILY = Father And Mother I Love You

Ending Soon.....

2009-07-31T08:46:00.004+08:00

Yes, July is ending soon.

The month I dislike is ending in just less than 24 hours.

Wish July ends well,

wish August begins well.....

Wish whatever happened in July remained in July,

wish it will never recurrs in any months after July.

Am looking forward to move on to August,

am looking forward for a better August.....

dislike today....dislike July

2009-07-30T16:20:00.002+08:00

Mood swing today.... seems to be not my day again.....

Not sure when it started to swing..... guess it will remained swinging till today ends.

Today is not the first day in the month of July I'm having mood swing......

Today not the first day in the year of 2009 I'm having mood swing too....

Really dislike July......

Too many things happened in July and that I really wish it ends soon.

Well, it is ending real soon in just less than 48 hours.

How glad but why am I not when I'm so looking forward to August?

Is it because I'm afraid?

Afraid that August will be the same as how I felt in July??

Or is it afraid that too soon to August and that it's coming soon to September too?

Hope it won't, hope it's not......

@ppreciates

2009-07-28T17:01:00.012+08:00

Days have passed & so do months.

Although it is just the beginning of the journey but a lot have been done along the journey.

Regardless of huge or little favors;

Simplicity or difficulty situations;

Tears or laughter moments......

I do sincerely appreciate them all.

.... easier Monday

2009-07-26T10:32:00.019+08:00

4 ways to make your MONDAYS easier......

1 ~ Pen down your to-do list on Friday afternoon.

According to psychologist Neil Fiore, PhD, this allows you to go in on Monday with a clear head.

2 ~ Enjoy your Sunday.

Don't let that heavy, dreadful feeling descend upon you on Sunday night. Have people over, catch a flick or read a good book. Plan fun stuff so you'll go into the office on Monday in a good mood, says life coach, Joy Robinson.

3 ~ Limit Monday AM chats.

Although there's much to share about your adventurous weekend, wait to catch up with your colleagues after getting work done. Procrastinating adds to stress.

4 ~ Pace yourself.

Tackle the easier tasks first. This way you'll feel that you've accomplish much and be encouraged to complete the more difficult tasks.

Beauty of a Woman

2009-07-17T14:30:00.010+08:00

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,

the figure she carries,

or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,

because that is the doorway to her heart,

the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode,

but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives,

the passion that she shows.

The beauty of a woman..... with time, only grows....

it's been replaced...

2009-06-23T23:08:00.006+08:00

It has been years I've been using IT and IT worn off day by day.

I always wanted to change IT but I just couldn't spot the right one.

Either I couldn't find IT or IT just don't looks right to me.....

Still couldn't find the one I like the moment I see IT.

However, finally today...... tonight IT was found.

Founded by someone and I just like IT the moment I see IT.

Surprised and unexpected...... not sure how to describe ... I'm just so glad, happy and felt so sweet~ so thoughtful....

Yes, finally IT has been replaced.... replaced by someone...

Really like IT ...... appreciate what has been done :)

Thank you~~

confirmation...?

2009-06-15T19:42:00.007+08:00

.... 3rd month now .....

is everything okie?

is everything alright?

is everything fine?

.....6th month next.....

will everything remain okie?

will everything remain alright?

will everything remain fine?

brighten up yet?

2009-06-10T10:07:00.006+08:00

I received an e-mail from someone... the very first e-mail which was in my Inbox since afternoon and I did not realize it was there untill tonight...... Not sure what is the content but the moment I open, lil' cuties are everywhere in between lines and sentences.....

I didn't realize it was a long cute & sweety mail untill I read till the end.

Not sure how to reply.... not sure what I should reply.... but a voice inside me is telling me that I should reply this mail.

Think.... type... delete.... and this goes on and on for awhile.....

Really took me awhile before I could go on well with the content.

As I'm done and ready to click Send, suddenly .... suddenly my explorer slowed down and ... and it crashed!!

Oh no.. oh no~~ the content... my reply.... I didn't save it...

Oh no~ please don't let me redo it again... please save it...

But.. but... hmmm..... it's all gone... it's not saved.....

I don't know what I've mentioned in the content... it just came across my mind and I just keep on typing... now... *sob*sob* ..... not sure if I'm able to do it again.... but I knew I have to reply no matter how before I head on to bed...otherwise, I won't be able to sleep soundly again....

Think.... type... delete.... and this goes on and on for awhile again.....

Finally, I did reply the cutie mail.....

Brighten up by the visit, double brighten up with the cutie mail...

Cutie & Lovely Mail~

something is lost

2009-06-09T12:52:00.005+08:00

I've forgotten how does it feel like after so long and I thought that I will not feel it again.

It took me so long to chase it away but this feeling is coming back to me now.

The feeling of lost....

The feeling of uncertainty....

Felt like misplacing something somewhere.....

....and that something seems to be my heart....

Don't know where I have left it...

Don't know when I have left it...

Don't know how I have left it...

Just hope that it will be found & returned back to me soon....

silly me....

2009-06-08T23:11:00.001+08:00

I don't know what exactly makes myself feel that I'm so silly....

Being so silly for thinking too much?

Being so silly for coming up with so many thoughts?

Being so silly for going through what I've gone through just to tell which in the end, it makes me feel that I have been over-reacted to it?

.....am I?

I'm just going through a serious thought as I felt it is something that need such thinking as I don't want to make any unwanted mistakes and in the end regret for not thinking over any consequences that may have....

Well, somehow it really makes me feel that I really think too much into depth.... probably it is really nothing at all and probably the reaction is just to lessen my burden which I've been carried for so long....

So silly yet so confused....

Wish that I could get over all this soon....

it is told now...

2009-06-07T23:22:00.005+08:00

Finally it has been told now and I guess there's nothing else that I have not tell....

I do feel better after telling but now new thoughts come flooding my mind....

Is it right for me to tell it now?

Is it right for me to tell it out?

How and what is the reaction?

Is it over now?

Can there be a full stop now?

Can I face it?

If I face it how should I be and what should I say?

Is it alrite?

Should I go on and is it okie to move on?

Should I give it a chance?

Fear.... fear.... fear...

on and on my mind is flooding .... I wish I can fall asleep now to put a stop on it now......

to tell or not to?

2009-06-07T21:11:00.005+08:00

I've been thinking and thinking and wondering for very long on whether I should tell or not.

The more I think the further I go.....

The more I think the more fear I felt....

I don't know when is the right time.

I don't know what is the outcome.

I don't know how is the reaction.

I don't know how to face it.

I don't know if this is the end.

I really need to prepare myself and gather all my courage before I could tell. After so long, I think I did prepared myself and also gathered my courage as I really do wan to tell soon. But I don't know if now is the right time and whether or not I'm really prepared for it outcome.....

Some how I have a strong feeling telling me that I should tell it soon now before everything is built and firm along the way as time keeps ticking.... If I don't tell it earlier, it will be more difficult and painful in the end...

The risk is everywhere at anytime whether it is now or later.... there's always a risk....

If I tell it now, things may end... if I tell it later, things may end too...

But if I tell it now and things are still the same then what about in future??

I think ... I should tell it soon now.....

preparing first meal....

2009-06-03T22:32:00.008+08:00

There are so many first time moments along the journey.....

However, many first time moments yet to discover along the journey.....

But as long as the journey goes on,

First time moments will always be found.....

Today, I get the chance to prepare a meal for someone.....

First time preparing a meal for someone......

Although it is just a simple almost ready meal,

But we did had a great meal....

Caborrana alike pasta (tuna, mushroom & lotsa ♥)

how to move on?

2009-06-03T22:32:00.005+08:00

So many things, too many things keep lingering in my mind which is restraining me from moving on.... Not that I don't want to let it go but it is things that are tagging me all along.....

I wish that everything can be buried deep down into the earth and leaving me completely like it never happened to me before.

So much want to move on...

Just move on and search for the life I wanted to lead.

A life that will lead me on to far far land.... away from what I wanted to be away from for the rest of life.

Away from somethings which I wish it never happened before.

How can I move on?

How should I move on?

"suffocated"

2009-06-02T07:44:00.003+08:00

Every year, around this season, I will be "suffocated".....

Can't bare with this season.... once I saw one or two somewhere some place, I'll start preparing myself for the worst ....

Arghh~~ hate it so much~~

Was so headache even when I'm dozing off last night. I'm not sure I've slept for how long but was suddenly woken up by some pitchy sound.... was kind of blur and don't know what was that, so I gather my mind to interpret what was that sound? It was the sound of voices just right outside my bedroom door... laugh, giggles & chatters of mum, dad & sisters....

But .... but.... wait a minute~

As I was gathering my mind, there's some kind of smell.... something extremly familiar and makes me feel so uneasy.... I make my mind clearer and clearer and WHAT!!!!

First, I was surprised by pitchy sound and now what....... I'm "suffocated" by the smell of durian???

Ew~~~~ headache + durian smell = Super Headache + Suffocated >.<"

Tiger Balm to the rescue... but don't know why it just can't over come the smell..... sighh.... next, pillow to the rescue.... gee~~~

Lucky enough the smell is gone when I woke up this morning... phew~~ 'cos they knew I'll "scream" when I wake up the next day to find out (but they didn't know I've FACED it last night before they clear the "evidence"), so they've settled all into containers and the husk was already outside in the bin too..... thank goodness.... otherwise, another super headache day ....

My Escapade II

2009-06-01T13:41:00.011+08:00

.....a little bit of similarity yet a little bit of difference.......

no matter what, sweetness & laughter is all that matters in the end~

the moments of togetherness....

the moments of closeness....

"home" alone....

2009-05-25T08:53:00.009+08:00

Last week, I told one of my colleagues that I'll be 'on leave' for a week (which is not true) and 2 of my other colleagues helped me to make it sounds even real. I even asked her not to miss me while I'm away. Besides that, one of my colleagues will be on leave today as well.

Last night, I received SMS from another colleague that she injured her leg and need to consult a doctor today, which means she'll be on medical leave.

This morning, I received a call from another colleague who called in sick today. Meaning to say, 3 of my colleagues are not working today, so left me and the one whom I told to that I'll be "on leave" for a week....

8.30am passed and I wonder why is she not here yet??

Almost 9.00am and still not here.... sense something is not right, I quickly check from my system and to my surprise, she is on leave as well...

So now, me, "h0Ome" alone today and such a Blue Monday and in fact it is really a Monday Blue today for me ..... so much looking forward for time-out from Monday Blue.....

Jz-in-time

2009-05-25T07:31:00.010+08:00

Waking up with a 'no mood to work today' kind of mood.

As I prepare, I managed to get over 'that' mood and off I head to work.

My daily route, I turn out from the 1st traffic light of my housing area and I am still on the accelerate pedal as I come to the 2nd traffic light. To my very surprise, I saw cars and bikers turning out from the left into the road on my right when the light of my lane shows green. I tell myself, "why are they igrnoring red light when my lane shows green light?"

BREAK~!~!~!~!

Lucky enough my mind woke up in time for me to hit on the break pedal and I was just few inches out from the line.... because ..... because the light of my lane is actually showing RED and NOT GREEN!!!..... I can't afford to imagine how horror it will turn out to be if my mind did not wake up on time and keep on accelerating....

I remember how the drivers and bikers look at me when they drive pass me when I'm actually still moving on...... So sorry that I my mind miscomprehend the green light is showing left turn not going straight....

Phew~~ thank goodness I make it on time..... will concentrate and more careful when I'm on the road..... don't mind if it is my life but innocent life too involved is something I will never forgive myself on that....

not gettin' better

2009-05-22T07:38:00.006+08:00

I thought I will feel better today after yesterday.

I thought I will feel better today after waking up this morning.

But my thought is nothing at all that I'm not feeling better. My head is still against me and it seems to be even worse than yesterday.

Not pretty sure what is going on inside my head again. Looks like this will take awhile again for it to be gone. Really hope it will not take awhile.... really hope it will be gone soon.....

There must be away to "cure" this..... the "cure" should be somewhere out there that I haven't discover it..... or probably the "cure" is already right beside me but I'm not sure if the "cure" is meant for me or the "cure" that I can look forward to.....

Wish I'll get over it soon.... soon for me to feel better as well....

wat is wrong?

2009-05-21T09:13:00.003+08:00

I think I sleep well but I don't know why am I still waking up with an achin' head. Sometimes I just don't really understand "it".... is "it" my head or not??

Just don't know what is happening to me again... not only waking up with anchin' head but also feeling so tensed up which makes my headache even worst. Making me feelin' so like fallin' sick....

Nevermind with the headache, nevermind with the tense.... BUT .... what mind me most is I don't know what is the cause of my tense as it is making me so unwell that my head hurts on and off.

I really want to look for the switch so that I can use a tape to stick on it to remain as off.

Trying to ease my mind but it still feel so tense up.

What is wrong??

Need a quite time.... really really need a quite time for me to hear my innerself.... for me to understand "it" and I'll be alright after that.....(hope so).....

.....hhHMmm.....

2009-05-20T08:24:00.009+08:00

Slept early last night...erm... 10 something consider early right....

Had some disturbance in my mind however, tiredness got over it that I fall asleep within minutes besides ignoring my headache & stomach uneasiness......

Although I get to fall asleep so soon...but always sleepless night again and again..... why can't I have good night sleep again and again??

Waking up few times in a night.....sigh..... and once was caused by sudden leg cramp which hurts so much.....

I remember the last time I had the same experience was the night before my leg got swollen..... oh.... hope this won't come back again.... *touch wood*... NO, enough with times of consultations and medication...real strong medication, I think it is over.

.......woke up with an extreme headache today..... Lucky it went off after awhile and left with mild headache which able to have me drive to work. Too bad it still stays on me right now and I really hope it won't last throughout the day......hmmm...... not today please.....

caRRot cAk3

2009-05-18T21:34:00.005+08:00

I baked this cake on Saturday evening with someone who have given me such a great big hands for the very first time throughout the baking process..... Am really glad and appreciates the great hands given....

Ingredients: ...brown sugar... caster sugar... veg oil... eggs... flour... orange zest... carrots... walnuts...

Method: ...weighing... sifting... cutting... peeling... shredding... chopping... cracking... mixing.....

It did took awhile to prepare all the ingredients before I could start mixing. Preparation done and it is mixing time, portion by portion, ingredient by ingredient until it's all prefectly mixed and off it's ready to go into the oven to bake for about 1 hour or till it is set.

Nice aroma filled the whole house during the baking....

One hour later, the cake is all set and left to be cooled.... can't do the icing yet and shall be done next day; the lemonly creamy cheezy icing for the cake.

Phew..... decorations......took me awhile to coat the cake with the prepared cream cheeze. YEah....really really took sometime for me to do since I never know how to decor a cake, which ends up I make a muddy surface but the whole cake looked so whitish that I decided to shred some carrots and add it around the cake as additional decor....

VOILA~~~ the cake is pretty ready now for camera time ...hehehe..... can't stop but continue snappin' & snappin' .....

How is it gona taste like? Nice as how it looks like?

No one can taste yet until I say BECAUSE..... I need to make sure I'm satisfied with pictures I've snapped :p......

I make final shooting early this morning before I go to work........good or not I only can find out when I arrive to office and check out the photos.... well, am satisfy yet not so satisfy with the photos.... but time for me to go and I just let it be.....

Hours later received a call from Mum and I knew she gona ask if the cake can be eaten since I've 'open ceremony' earlier ...hehehe.... so anxious to know if it tasted good or not, I SMSed Mum to ask for comment but she called instead and said it taste so good..... yipee~~~

Can't wait to go home and try it out myself too...... as I reached home, the first thing I did is have a slice for myself and guess what, I never like carrot cake but this is my very first Carrot Cake I ever like with a very first such baking experience I ever had.....

Carrot Cake * Lemonly Creamy Cheezy

a shoulder needed

2009-05-14T17:52:00.003+08:00

achin heart....
achin head....
teary eyes....
blank mind....
speechless....
emotion running.... super low.....

~~sigh~~

that's all i could describe of myself right now.... almost time to head home....
really wish i can overcome this pretty soon....

mood swing ??

2009-05-14T14:02:00.002+08:00

it's too early to have mood swing...
i dono why but i just don't feel good since early of the day.

waking up from the wrong side of the bed? probably..... i hope it is, i hope it is not.

thought that i'll feel better soon later by noon but seems like i still feel the same way as i felt this morning...or probably just got worst....
don't feel like doin anything ... just feel like being alone, all by myself...... just feel like heading home, lying blankly on bed right away.....hoping that i will get over my feelings soon.

hmmm... impossible.... still have hours more to go before i could do so....
wish that the time flies faster than any other day...

time pass so fast during "bright" time
BUT
pass so slow during "dark" time

so unfair~~~

another sad news!

2009-05-07T08:14:00.004+08:00

oh no~~ another sad morning....
need to hold back my tears again....

Woman run over after snatch thieves cause her to fall from her motorcycle - theStar, 07 May 09
another case in just days......
what is wrong with this country?
where is justice?
why people are getting more & more inhumane?
violent attack, brutal killing....
no one has any rights to snatch people's life. NO ONE!
is this some kind of fun hobby you killers enjoyin out there?

This is not one life we are talking about...the woman here is 4 months pregnant!! Previous case was 2 months pregnant!! She & her family is expecting a new life. You never know how much it meant to them and now you killers took every piece of happiness just because you want to 'satisfy' yourself & your needs?

put yourself in the victim's shoes....
think hard...how would you feel if you were them??
angry? fury? heartbroken? so much want to hunt down the life snatcher & put behind the bars?

don't blame on the economy crisis....
don't blame on financial crisis....
don't blame on no place for you to spend your free time...
BUT
blame on yourself~

Everyone is facing the same crisis as you are.
Everyone is working & struggling so hard to earn a living & to feed hungry tummies back at home.
BUT you, you pitiless creature took everything so easily.

If a handicapped can work their way to earn a living why can't you?
You choose the easy way which is a totally inhumane.

When will this be put to the end?
When will this killers be brought to justice?
When will this killers be put behind the bars?
What will be the future for our kids like?
For how long more we need to live in fear?

L-O-V-E

2009-05-06T14:15:00.001+08:00

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can

Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you - Nat King Cole

Never Shout

2009-05-06T08:58:00.006+08:00

I love this.....
Meaningful & true....

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'
Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that..'
'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.

Finally he explained,

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'

Then the saint asked,

'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'

The saint continued,

'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

MORAL OF THE STORY
When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

sad news :(

2009-05-06T08:26:00.005+08:00

Sad news to start my day.
A daily routine for me to read the news on web once I arrive to office.
Try so hard to hold back my tears after reading the news since I'm in the office.

Pregnant woman dies after thieves pull her off motorcycle - theStar 06 May 09
I remember I heard this news over the TV last night but it was Chinese news so I couldn't catch what is it about.
The image of the victim's husband teary & clinging on his 2 stepchild is still clear in my mind.
I only know the exact story after reading the news earlier..... such a distress news.
So heartbreaking as the man is so much looking forward to move on his new life after a sad past but now he just have to live in past again.....
What is wrong with this people? Not only snatching people's belongings but they've gone too far that they snatched people's life too!
Authority.... please do something!~!~

Plight of the swamp dogs - theStar 06 May 09
Another sad news..... although they are animals but they are one of the living thing like us... its just that they live different way from human.
That doesn't mean we human can treat the animal so cruel that you leave them like that.
This is not the way to curb the problem..... human has brain, animals don't so human should use their brain to solve the problem.... not just throw them to some island and leave them starve to death.....
Imagine it yourself.... the dogs don't know what is going on that they were just sent off to another place....all this while it thought we were their friends... that is why it tried to swim back to their friends cause they miss us without thinking that they would survive or drown they just can't make it back meeting us...

This is so cruel.... where is your humane thoughts???

wat a day.....

2009-05-05T17:11:00.005+08:00

Woke up 4 a.m. from bed.
Off to work with sleepy and achin' head.
Not a good start at all for today.
Coffee ain't helpin' me to go through the day.

Even my tummy is giving me a hard time~

1st half of the day is tough.....
same goes for 2nd half of the day......

Suddenly felt so "exhausted" from things..... what do I really mean?
...just feeling unusually "exhausted" now ... should I just prepared myself for what ever "storm" that will come?

Am I being sensitive...??
Am I thinking too much...??
I wish I know the answer... one day will...
I should just keep on telling myself to be patient and time will tell....

Today shall remain in today~~

*c3l!n3* .... take a deep breath..., hold.... & release.....

4 in the mornin'

2009-05-05T10:07:00.002+08:00

Sigh.... waking up 4 a.m. today given me a bad start for the day....
How often more will I wake up at such time??

It's only 10 a.m. now and I have like more than half a day to go through with this sleepy & achin head I'm having right now~~

... so so much wanted to go home & zzzz with my huggies....

Will coffee helpS?
Nah... I don't tink so...coffee is just my liking but never wakes me up ...hmm....

Wish time could pass faster today~~

happy OR fear

2009-04-30T09:38:00.010+08:00

Questions.... questions and more questions....

Shall I go on accepting the colors & ignore the fear?

Should I just ignore the colors & continue to live colorless?

...to fall in love...

...to be in love...

...to accept & understand...

...to give & take...

...to forgive & forget...

This sounds like a new chapter of life filled with dozens of colors & shades from LOVE.
This sounds like a new chapter of life filled with dozens of joy & moments from LOVE.

BUT

Why am I sensing fear all over on this??~

~ wat is |ov3 ~

2009-04-29T13:28:00.007+08:00

" In my life there's been heartache & pain...

I don't know if I could face it again...

Can't stop now I've traveled so far

To change this lonely life~~

......I wana know what Love is~~~
I wana feel what Love is~~~ " - Foreigner

How do you know if you have fallen for someone?
How do you know if you are in love?
How does it feels like to be falling in love?
How do you know if it is really love and not a crush?

My Escapade

2009-04-27T21:59:00.005+08:00

arrived early.

discover the surrounding, the environment.

making myself relaxed & comfortable.

strolling down the sandy beach under the sunny sun & feeling splashes of waves washing up the shore with my bare foot.

leaving footprints along the sandy beach as i keep one walking.

windy windy makes me so carried away and look forward for another escapade.

such a special escapade which is my all time favorite way of breakaway ....

something meaningful yet memorable....

a day to just relax, fully relax at somewhere without familiar faces around me....

...lip balm...

2009-04-24T23:36:00.003+08:00

I've seen lip balm in pot;
I've seen lip balm in stick;
I've seen lip balm in tube;
BUT
Lip balm in a piece of paper .... ???

This is something which never come across my mind, lip balm in paper form. Until, until someone crack this idea while I was applying my lip balm in stick form....

It reminds me of the olden age where the ladies uses something - red paper as their lipstick; Just press your lips together with the paper placed in between your lips.

but...but....lip balm....??? in paper form??
wow~~ really innovative :p
really had a great laugh & on the other hand scratching & cracking my head how would it be like lip balm in paper form....

teeemptiiing~~

2009-04-23T23:45:00.002+08:00

.....received a box of chocs called Brandy-Beans.... thank u~~

Well, the choc smells & looks tempting (from the cover of the box)....
.... but~ but~ sigh~~ I couldn't get a taste of it now.

Sad~ sad~ ...instead of having a taste of d chocs I had a taste of cough syrup..... "thanx" to my early-stage sorethroat, I can't eat it now....

arghh~~~ so so tempting~~~
wana recover soon to taste it real soon.....
eee....I won't get myself drunk rite?~

IvoryChocTorte

2009-04-21T22:04:00.012+08:00

....geeee......

I keep thinking & almost giving up on this cake.....really.....

Tensed up raised high up into the air rightt from the moment I start preparing the ingredients till the final touch on d decor.

.....with the support & encouragement given throughout the day till night, I finally managed to get it done......

thank you~

really thankful for all that was done~

"breakaway"

2009-04-09T15:41:00.011+08:00

I always wanted my way of breakaway...
I always imagine my way of breakaway...

to Breakaway from where I am....
to Breakaway from things that I'm tired of....

just Breakaway.....
near or far~
day or days~
it just doesn't matter at all~

...as long as I could neither think nor worry of anything just for a moment which all matters...

My breakaway would be some where, some place.... which will always be my all time favorite breakaway.

...am looking forward for my way of breakaway soon.

- Surprised Mode -

2009-04-08T23:12:00.003+08:00

....am still in 'Surprised Mode' although the moment had passed hours ago....

Was having an afternoon talk with a friend and this friend some how start up the conversation about Lee Hom's upcoming concert. This reminds me that I yet to grab Lee Hom's new album and since I'm a fan of him, I wanted to grab on his album soon.

The conversation was still 'fresh' since it was in the afternoon then unexpectedly, I was presented the album hours later in the evening.

Surprised and speechless that I thought I was dreaming or...or...something....and April Fool over too.

Never expected that I will get the album so soon...
Never expected that I will be presented the album...
And of course, never expected that it was presented from him...

...pretty difficult for me to describe how I feel that night....

The moment I was told that there's something for me...
The moment something was taken out...
The moment that something was presented to me...
The moment I took it & look what's inside...
The moment I found out what it is...

All I could say is, I'm really surprised and yes, I'm very happy.

Thank you & I really appreciate it.

Am relaxed.....

2009-04-04T20:22:00.003+08:00

I can't remember when was the last time I get to sleep well....almost forgot how does it feels like having a good night sleep.....but last night is the night that I finally get to sleep well after so many sleepless nights.....

....went to some where I always wished for and wanted to be there....
....a place which is my all time favorite......
....a place that really makes me forget about what I'm going through although just one night....
.....just relax....

Well, unfortunately I can't do much on what I wanted to due to my inconvenient condititon.
I just sit right where I am and enjoy the environtment for as long as I could.
Feeling the light breeze touching my skin......echos of waves....so relaxed that I wish the night is still young and that I could have that moment longer.....

.....thank you~~~

Happy Birthday ~ Dad

2009-03-31T08:41:00.005+08:00

Today is dad's B'day.
Celebrating high up above the sky.
May 爸爸 had a blessed happy birthday & healthy throughout the years.....

I used to send B'day wish to B'day babies at 12 midnight but last night my mind & my eyes just are impatient to go to dream land.
"爸爸，生日快乐" is what I've prepared to send to dad but end up I send it only when I woke up this morning ... hehe .... hopefully it did not wake him up or .... maybe he's not even asleep yet :p

Oopss..... I owe dad a birthday cake.... shall bake him one when he got back from holidays :D

...confused...miserable...

2009-03-18T22:14:00.003+08:00

What should I do? Why do I keep hurting myself? Not physically but mentally? Why am I still awake by the previous mistake I’ve done?

What should I do to put everything to the end? Can it really be done and how can it be done?

…..sigh…….

Should I be glad of what had happened? This really sounds crazy but I appreciate whatever happened.

.....but.....

One misery is more than enough for making my life toppled. I realized but why am I walking into another that will definitely make me miserable when I am still in misery?

Why do I always have to make myself so miserable? What has gotten into me? Am I just too naïve or so foolish? If I knew the consequences and I knew where I stand then why am I still falling into similar misery again and again?

Do I really don’t care or mind the existence? Do I or am I just lying? Lying to myself that I don’t care or mind? I’m so confused. Feeling the pain alone that I caused by myself. Seriously, I blame no one but myself because I realized and knew it but yet I still go for it.

Confused…. Miserable….. This is what I would say, a punishment to myself for what I’ve done.

breathless Hamy....

2009-03-16T11:01:00.006+08:00

Winter White Hamy

so sad......

I still feed her last night before I went to bed.

but I woke up this morning and found that Hamy is lying motionless and breathless.....

right now, the weather outside is just like my feelings inside ~ cloudy....

Both Hamy and Hamie are so harmless....friendliest I ever met... now, Hamy is gone.... I hope Hamie will stay strong....

I knew they have a stipulated life span, but I never expect it to leave me so soon. I was so looking forward waiting for them to have a family......

Even I knew every single living animals one day will leave us anytime and I've seen them come and go, but whenever they left me, I will let them go but deep inside my heart, it hurts so much that they have left me....

it has been told....

2009-03-15T14:35:00.007+08:00

....finally..... finally it has been told for the first time.....

I don't know what makes me finally speak out.
I did planned to speak out soon but never expect that it will be so so soon.
I knew I will feel better once it has been told but courage and time is all I need because once it has been told, I will be facing alot of consequenses and definately no turning back once it has been told.

That is why, I keep on thinking and planning for the right time to say it and also to gather my courage to speak out but, there's a saying that I now find believe ...... "when time comes, it will tell".

So, finally it has been told now and no doubt I do feel lighter inside me after keeping it to myself for so long but is this the right thing? Is this the right start for my courage to speak out to more??

I really wish it would come to an end soon......

bake one or two?

2009-03-14T18:15:00.006+08:00

.....hmmm...... *think*think*

...erm.... bake one or two??
nothing to do....oopss... no, no, it should be there's too many things I want to do but just don't know which one to do first...

okok.....I decided to bake cake then, but bake one or bake two???

I think....I'll bake two then *wink*

Cake of the day....
~ Japanese Cotton Cheesecake ~

B~frienders

2009-03-13T14:32:00.002+08:00

Should I go for it?
Give a call or drop a mail?

I should start gathering all my courage soon to have everything put to end.
...but..but.... I'm just too scared.... just too scared to face whatever "ugly picture" that might appears....

Once it's revealed, there's neither rewind nor pause button for me to press.....
I do wish to put put it to an end but it's not easy as it is said.... no one will ever understand it as no one will ever know about it....

Befrienders....would this be a right choice then?
How confidential could that be?
How can it help me to face what I'm facing all this while?

But how I wish... how I wish....
I really hope there's miracle from HIM to show me the path that I never see before...

Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T17:44:00.006+08:00

A day where singles feel lonely but couples find it lovely.

But to me, V-day is a day to remember and celebrate the meaning of LOVE.
In fact, everyone is celebrating love everyday in many ways but V-day is a special day to celebrate love in a special way. A chosen day for everyone in this world to celebrate LOVE together on the very same day.

There is no need to envy or envy those couples since there are no rules saying V-day is meant for couples and V-day shud be celebrated in pairs. As long as there's love, you can always celebrate V-day; it could be with family, friends, buddies, or pets and of course love for yourself.

Well, this year I celebrateon the eve of V-day. Something which I never done it before. It's great to see atonished and smiling faces. What I did was, one of my colleagues and I bought some chocolate back to the office and distributed it among our colleagues.........

So there's no rules saying how we should celebrate and with whom we shall celebrate with.

Congrats~~MiewMiew

2009-02-12T21:00:00.003+08:00

Mum : "u r a 'grandma' of 2 pussies"
Me : "huh? wat u mean?"

It took me few minutes to uderstand what my mum meant?
Rupa-rupanya today I am a grandma of 2 kitties. Meaning to say, today MiewMiew is a mother cat of 2 now.

I've just seen the kitties, so tiny cute kitties.
Can't wait to touch and hold them and also snap cuty moments of them.

What should I name them?
Previously, 2 of Kitty's was named as Mango & Panda.....think, think, think, what will be MiewMiew's then?? Hm??

Oh...the 2 cuties keep playing in my mind now *hehe*

13 Feb
Oh no.....I'm a grandma of 3 instead!!!!!
Will there be more???

the Return

2009-02-09T00:12:00.003+08:00

I have not been blogging for more than a year.
All this while I've been just signing in & viewing my very own past post.

I keep on thinking, as when will I ever start to blog again? Not only when but where should I start from since I have not been bloggin for so long & also too many things happened during my away from blogging....

I hope that this is will be the starting one for the retun of me to blog again.
Why all of sudden about blogging again? Same day, different time, 2 of my new friends (they should know who am I refering to) asked me about blogs....and that is when it reminded me of blogging.

But, I doubt if this post will be the beginning of me returning to continue blogging again?
Well, I hope I will continue to do so since & besides that, I have the feeling that I will continue to blog again like before.

My Blog, a place where I share my feelings that can be shared & point of views which will not go against the law of course.......

Dear JJay {RIP}

2007-03-21T15:20:00.001+08:00

the Life of JJay...........

Before in Novemeber 2006.....

Now in March 2007....

Then, months later.... how will JJay looks like? yet to come
??????????????????????

{RIP} He will always be remembered...... I miss him so much........

my Wish List

2007-03-17T14:11:00.001+08:00

Hanbok

Hibiscus 'o' Bunga Raya

2007-03-15T23:52:00.000+08:00

Pictures of a hisbiscus solely grown in a little pot blooming graciously in the garden of mine. I can't wait to show it to mum once she's back from her holiday, just in case the flower will 'fall asleep' before mum could see it. Anyway, hmm... I wonder what species does it belong too?????

Hibiscus or Rosemallow, a large genus of about 200-220 species of flowering plants (wow...too many) aka Queen of the Tropics

Kingdom Plantae
Division Magnoliophyta
Class Magnoliopsida
Order Malvales
Family Malvaceae
Genus Hibiscus

The leaves are alternate, simple, ovate to lanceolate, often with a toothe or lobed margin. The flowers are large, conspicuous, trumpet-shaped, with five or more petals, ranging from white to pink, red, purple or yellow, and from 4-15cm broad. The fruit is a dry five-lobed capsule, containing several seeds in each lobe, which are released when the capsule splits open at maturity.

Hibiscus rosa-senensis (Bunga Raya or "Chinese hibiscus") - the national flower of Malaysia (my country).
Hibiscus brackenridgei (Ma'o hau hele) - the state flower of Hawaii.
Hibiscus syriacus (Mugunghwa or "Rose of Sharon") - the national flower of South Korea.

Bunga Raya, official symbol of Malaysia.......
" The flower was chosen to be the naional flower in 1960s by Malaysia's first Prime Minister, Tunku Abdul Rahman.

The five-petaled Hibiscus rosa-sinenses was chosen above many varities of the hibiscus because it's the most symbolically relevant. The five petals of the Bunga Raya symbolise the Rukunegara (the Five Prinicples of Nationhood), while the colour red represents courage.

It is also believed that the flower fist arrived in Malaysia via trade from its original home in the Far East sometime before the 12th century. "

A legend of hibiscus in South Korea.....
" There once was a beautiful woman who had a natural talent for writing & singing lovely songs. The people of the village loved her because of her grace & beauty, but this woman had a husband who was blind. No matter, this woman cared deeply for her husband & loved him. There were many of rich & powerful men in other village who wished to have her as theirs but the woman refused their proposal, for she was strong-minded & sincere.

One day, the rich lord of this village came riding on the back of his horse to inspect the people of his land. As he marched through the village, he saw the beautiful woman of the village & immediately fell in love with her. He proposed his love to her & asked her to come & live with him, but again, she refused. No matter how many times he tried, she still refused his proposal. Finally, angered from her stubborness & her sincere, strong mind, the lord sent minions & kidnapped her. the lord again tried everything to please her but she refused & kept her sincerity Furious & angry, the lord finally executed her. The village took pity of this & took her body & buried it next to the house of where she & her blind husband used to live.

Brokenhearted, the blind husband & mourned of the loss of his wife & never left her grave. Months later, a beautifully sweet flower grew & grew around the grave of his beloved wife& his house. the flower is called the Rose of Sharon (mugunghwa).

Rose of Sharon means sincere heart or long lasting due to the fact that it blooms every year after year. "

Source
Wikipedia-Hibiscus
AllMalaysia.info

LeeHom "Heroes of Earth" World Tour 2007

2007-03-09T08:36:00.000+08:00

Date : 4th March 2007, Sunday
Speciality: Last day of CNY aka Chap Goh Meh & Lunar Valentine's Day
Venue : National Stadium (Outdoor), Bkt Jalil, KL
Time : 8pm
Price : RM353

Originally the concert was fixed on 3^rd Mac at Stadium Merdeka, as stated on the ticket above but was moved to 4^th Mac at National Stadium Bkt Jalil due to the plans of renovating the Stadium Merdeka in conjunction of the 50^th Anniversary Merdeka Celebration. Press released by Galaxy - Concert's amendment.

Coincidently, the worth waiting day for most of LeeHom’s fans whom one of them is me, his concert falls on the last day of CNY, 4^th Mac which also the day his fans celebrates Lunar V-Day with him. Wow, such a romantically memorable day & concert.

Such an awesome experience is truly unforgettable. How unforgettable?

4^th Mac, Sun – Joey, her sister & I catch the 8:00a.m. bus heading to KL. Reaches KL almost noon & due to bumper crawling towards Puduraya, we got down along Jln Pudu & walk to Swiss Garden hotel instead of walking all the way back from bus station to hotel.

I really hope we could check-in immediately as we arrive at the reception. After usual check-in procedure & given the room number & key by receptionist, we head on to the elevator right away but before the elevator door could shut behind us, the same receptionist nervously call us to step out! 3 of us look at each other wondering ‘Watz up?’. The receptionist made a mistake by giving us the key to an unclean room! GoSh! So we were given welcome drinks each at the lounge while waiting for our rooms to be clean which took more than ½ hour still not ready because the floor maid went for their lunch! Hey, I haven’t taken anything yet but this welcome drink (which tasted like one of the medicine I had when I was young) since I woke up. No choice, all of us are hungry, we leave our luggage at the concierge & walks to Puduraya to hunt for food.

Puduraya station, crowded as usual but hardly any choice of food we could eat. We went across 2 streets, thought of McD near MyDin complex but full house! Walk further up another McD also the same, Nando’s, A&W,…...what else, all same situation but lucky enough Kenny Rogers still got space to accommodate 3 of us to dine in there.

After brunch, we head back to hotel really hoping the room is ready which should be ready. Thank goodness, we got our room & freshen up, getting ready for the big night, LeeHom’s concert at Bukit Jalil which located totally away from the hotel we are staying

We walk back to Puduraya to catch StarLRT from Plaza Rakyat to Bukit Jalil which is the second last station. We bought 2 ways ticket just in case & cost us only RM3.80 each.

It’s way too early when we reach Bukit Jalil but first thing to be done when we reach is to collect out tickets & we face difficulties in looking for Galaxy ticket counter moreover in such hot weather, foot aching, sweating & stickiness all over body. No signage of ticket counter by Galaxy is something they should feel embarrassed & I can’t deny the claims of Galaxy staff being impolite. Honestly when we couldn't find any sign of the counter, are so worry that we can't get out tickets. Moreover, it's Sunday we can't expect anyone answering the phone in Galaxy office.

After searching high-low, following our instinct & asking around, we manage to fins the ticket counter & get our tickets. It’s still after collecting our tickets. Aimless & nothing to do, we stand under the trees to get some shade opposite the entrance. We are so excited and counting time, hours to enter to the stadium. I’m so excited that I suggest we start lining up although it’s number seated ticket I’m just excited. As time keeps ticking, the queue gets longer & longer whereas the sky gets slightly darker. Darker in the sense of not night & the moon & stars are out. It’s because it’s gona rain anytime.

It’s raining, unluckily no umbrella or raincoat nor shade, “rain keeps falling on our head”. Lucky enough it’s not raining like cats & dogs however it still manage to wet the ground. Fans screaming on & off at the entrance, demanding to enter the stadium soon cos at least we can get some shade in there.

The RELA & Galaxy staff ready in their position & as more raindrops falling down, fans starts to get more heated up & it’s also time the fans are allowed to enter the stadium already. Fans run like nobody’s business, looking up for directions to their seats location whereas 3 of us walk slowly like nobody’s business looking around the stalls, get ourselves some souvenirs & food to ease our hunger. But when we got ourselves seated, hey the stage is so much nearer than my past experience & also lucky enough the rain stops too.

The screen on stage is playing some entertainment news & also definitely LeeHom’s ad. Fans scream whenever there’s him, his songs, & even when the lights starts to dim towards to start of the concert!! That’s really crazy fanatic fans. Did I scream? Well a little, to some of it. Hey, it's fun, one of the way to show our support to LeeHom & also to give build up his spirit while preparing at the back stage. Is there any backstage? I will rather say bottom stage.

I try my very best to snap as much picture as I can by using such an economical Canon camera. Right form the beginning of the conert till the end of it.Besides that, I try to enjoy myself in this concert too.

Check out what the news had to say about the concert…
Rousing show:Wang LeeHom in concert
LeeHom at his best

LeeHom Heroes of Earth Concert is the best concert I ever been so far. He's the forever young & cute hunk with his entertaining, playfullness & talents on stage. Despite of everything, I’m really looking forward for his upcoming concert.

The very best shots I could get from d place v were seated......

*More on RedPacket wz Smiling Faces 4 LeeHom*

More shots from Me My Gallery =).....

Pinky Arm Rest

2007-02-26T14:50:00.000+08:00

"Everyone needs a space to relax.

So does arms!"

a Product of Soft Talk by U2ME

yeah.... this is my newly bought pinky arm rest.....bought at Popular bookstore at less than RM20/=

it's so pink, so cute & lovely & 'hairy' *haha*

Oink Oink >> Day IV

2007-02-21T21:05:00.000+08:00

Time flies really fast as it's already the 4th day of CNY. Meaning those who are still schooling will be back to school whereas those who are working is time to get back to work.

Dad back to work today. Mum starts work tommorow. Sook Fern back to shcool the day after tomorrow. How bout me? Maybe next month after going to Lee Hom's concert on 4th March.

Day 4th is just like another ordinary day for me. I try to wake up as late as I can since I slept so early last night but noon weather was so hot I hardly could continue to sleep as long as I wanted. Looks like its time to wake up then.

Had my brunch & late lunch. Working my blog whole day. Munching on festive snacks while hoping I won't go fat later on.

So so sianz....don't know what else to do other then surf net, eat, & walk around the house...... was it because I've done too much right before CNY ??? I don't know.... However, I just know that I'm actually looking forward for something which I hope it will come true....

Oink Oink >> Day III

2007-02-20T22:55:00.002+08:00

Today is the day when my family & I will be going over to Penang to ‘pai nian’ with relatives & friends meaning more wishes, more oranges & more $$ ang pows.

Itinerary of day 3......
> Wake up late, noon time)
> Brunch,
> Getting ready to go out, dress up & make up)
> Wait friends to come ‘pai nian’,
> Wait family members to get ready,
> After frenz left, time to go Penang,
> 1st stop – the Choo’s family,
> 2nd stop – su kong’s house,
> 3rd & last stop – san ku’s house,
> Dinner at san ku’s house,
> ‘Rummy’ time,
> Relax & expect to be home in the morning.

4:00p.m.
Left home heading to Penang in one car. Heavy traffic + police patrol car, policemen & roadblocks everywhere, finding the opportunity to ‘saman’ speedy & reckless drivers. Pass by auto-city, Juru highway traffic heading to Juru toll jam same goes to Penang bridge's toll.
Traffic jam so bad + Weather so hot = Sunbathing alike in car.
Luckily I’m not the driver & also luckily my elder sister has her own plans on she didn’t follow along, so just one car fits fine. I quickly SMS Yin Fong to update her the traffic congestions & the police’s eyes on everywhere.

4:40p.m.
YES! Finally pass trough toll BUT ALMAK 2nd DAYMARE! Another stage of bad jam! From more than 10 lanes divert bottle-neck into to lanes. Bumper to bumper crawls of cars, squeezing racing towards the two main lanes provided by the bridge. Aduhai! More sun bathing lo!

......Imagine how long we got stuck in the traffic jam right before the toll & after toll........

Felt relieved when we manage to squeeze trough tones of tortoises to be on bridge. However, I don’t expect the traffic to be way smoother than what happened way back behind us. Move, move & Stop! Move, move & Stop! Till the middle of the bridge, one car broke down whereas opposite direction from island to mainland Ping! Pong! Piang!. 3 cars kissing one another’s backside; Both incident leads to slowing down the traffics.

Besides that, we had the opportunity to taste the feeling of 'throwing oranges' as what the chinese did on the last day of CNY. Dad drove over to the slow lane, mum wind down the window, my sister & I excited & waiting for mum to throw into the sea. PLIAK! MISSED! AIYO! that's our reaction after mum throw the orange. Instead of throwing it into the sea, it landed on the bridge. Shhhhh..... we are not throwing rubbish out from the window okie dokie! Shhhhhh....

Traffic was pretty smooth on the island itself. We reached our 1st stop bout 5:15p.m. unfortunately, the Choo’s family had gone out an hour ago. Had we learn our lesson to call & make appointment before arriving? *hehe*. Since they were not at home, we shall not waste our time, let’s head on to our 2nd stop at Relau. Wait! My stomach is growling & I misses Wong Kok’s butter bun. I ask my younger sister to accompany me to Wong Kok which was just few shops away from my dad’s shop & the Choo’s family house.

Along the way, I keep asking myself if it’s open? YES!
Arrived at Wong Kok, the cashier upon up the order window while I’m eyeing for butter bun. Huh all written in Chinese ALAMAK mana la aku tau baca. My sister look elsewhere & it’s not helpng me….

Me: you mei you butter bun
Cashier: butter bun chiu shi poh loh yau
Me: ok, gei wo wu li
Then my sister read trough one of the pastry there called Char Siew…wow looks tempting too.
Me: yeh gei wor char siew wu ker
10pcs, 5 each of 2 types of tempting food, amount at RM14.oo.

Once we got up into the car, my sister attack the char siew pastry whereas I attack the Po Loh Yau *slurps* yum yum…. *hehe*. And we head on to Relau. Along the way, we eaten 2 butter buns & 2 char siew shared among sisters, mum & dad.

We arrived at ‘san shu kong & koh po’s’ house and we are sure they are definitely at home. Mum & dad chat with the elders while my sister & I sit back relax & munch on the festive snacks. Thanks to my dieting spirits, or else I’m growing horizontally *haha*.
We spent almost an hour there then we make a move first to our 3rd & last stop, just nearby, san ku’s house.

At san ku’s house, we helped ourselves to fill up our starving stomach with tempting curry chicken rice. Cook of the day was Uncle Alex! After dinner, clean up & it’s ‘Rummy’ time. Ta ku & ta ku chang not here yet, left uncle Alex, mum & dad, not enough kaki, so it’s my turn to show my skill *haha*. Played 4 rounds, won 2 rounds, ta ku & ku chang’s here meaning it’s time for me not to be greedy, I have to make way for ku chang’s turn lo.

So what am I going to do now? Playing with Nono the dog, baby sitting Jia Yee, munching snacks, watching Death Note I & II till the end, it’s already 2 in the morning. When are they gona end the game? I want my bed…..then I fell asleep

Mum: Ming, wake up, let’s go home.
Me: huh…..o….

I clear my blurry mind & blurry eyes and got up, grab my things then head out the door, waving goodbye to uncle Alex. We all head to the elevator & waiting for it to arrive felt forever. *Ding* lift's here, into the lift, down the building, out the lift, head on to car, leave my things, got up the car, close my eyes but WAIT!!! What time is it now? My watch is showing 4a.m. WHAT??!! 4A.M.?! GOshH…… we left home at 4p.m. and now we go home at 4a.m. CooL!

So there goes another day pass, ……traffic jam, sunbathing in car, eating oranges all the way, had a delicious butter bun, & also more income *hehe*

PIGGY NEW YEAR >> Day II

2007-02-19T23:08:00.001+08:00

......Happy New Year!
Gong Xi Fa Chai, hong pau na lai!
Keong Hee Huat Chai, ang pau gia lai!.....
Those are the wishes from people visiting people.

Second day of CNY is the day whereby all my aunty & uncle came to gather at our house. Dad's the eldest in the family that's why lah, all 2nd day come lo.....

Last night played 'rummy' till midnight so I told mum not to wake me up next morning since I haven't had a good night sleep since last week. Was it too eager to usher the new year? Nah...it was too busy & tired of spring cleaning. What to do, busy highway is just right in front my house. No matter how often wipes & mops the floor, the dust jst love to relax on the shelves & every where in the house *sigh*.

Although mum did not woke me up this morning, the human nature alarm woke me up. I walk out from the room, mum's already at kitchen starting to prepare food for everyone who's coming later. Mum saw me & quickly defended herself that she didn't wake me up so I told her nonit to worry cos it's the nature call wake me up then I can't continue my sleep already.

So, itinerary of CNY day II....
>> Unwilling to wake up,
>> Clean up,
>> Thought of lazy day,
>> Prepare food of the day - 'Lam Mee',
>> Allowed to wash up clothes already,
>> Welcoming relatives & got $$$ ang pows to take *hehe*,
"arriving of kuku, shushu & family....
1st - ta ku & family,
2nd - san shu & family,
3rd - san ku & family,
4th - siau shu & family,
5th - er ku & family,

6th - siau ku & family,

7th - er shu & family...... "
>> Being the baby sitter of the day while their parents "busy at table",
>> Clean, clean, clean,
>> Prepare supper so called fried 'mi ku',
>> Rest & relax to call it a day.... Gud nite *-* zZZzzZ.....

'Lam Mee' a type of noodle made by mum for self-service. All need to prepare are side dishes, soup & noodles. Who wants to eat self-service, put as much noodles you can eat & choose your own side dishes, place all in a bowl, scoop in the soup over the noodles & VIOLA, you may eat now *slurps*

PIGGY NEW YEAR >> Day I

2007-02-18T18:23:00.001+08:00

GONG XI! GONG XI! GONG XI FA CHAI!
Sending off ‘wow wow’ year, let’s welcome the ‘oink oink’ year.

On the ‘30th night’ the day before CNY, last round spring cleaning & final touches to house and also to myself =) :
@ Wash cars,
@ Wash floor,
@ Wash clothes,
@ Wash hair,
@ Final décor,
@ Throw tones of rubbish,
@ Facial, manicure & pedicicure,
…..finally & most importantly…..
@REUNION DINNER..

Such a reddish, warmth, joyful & merry day, the day the young & single one will be the happiest one who has been looking forward for this days to play firecrackers & collecting angpows but for the married & elder one besides being happy to be reunited again, one thing they don’t really look forward to it is they got to give way Ang Pows $$$ *hehehe*. Yea… big girl already, don’t really fancy to take angpow lo…..

Itinerary of the day:
> Wake up early,
> Clean up,
> Wear new clothes,
> Wish parents,
> Pay respect to ancestors,
> Go to church,
……back at home……
> Prepare starter food of the day-vegetarian,
> Eat, eat, eat,
> Take ‘angpow’ from parents,
> Relax & fall asleep,
> Watch tv,
> Snack,
> Prepare food for dinner,
> Eat, eat, eat again,
> Relax,
> ‘Rummy’ time *haha*

On the first day of CNY, there are lot’s of rules to be obeyed which had been past down to many generations by our great, great, great ancestors; but how many of us still stick to it? As the generations goes on the lesser the rule being remembered. Alright let me list out how well I know bout the rules during the 1st day of CNY *hehe*
1 – wear as many red as possible; no mourning colors
2 – no awful words
3 – no hair washing
4 – no nail cutting
5 – don’t sweep the floor
6 – no furniture shifting
7 – no hammering
8 – don’t cry
9 – don’t wat? *hehe* that’s the most I knew so far *paiseh paiseh*

Home Baked Cakes up for Sale!

2007-02-07T12:05:00.000+08:00

Meanwhile, I'm away from work; Having my own time at home 'spring cleaning, to usher Chinese New Year & Good Fortune which is just around the corner; So I'm baking different flavors of butter cake up for sale. Orders can be made via......

so far so gud

2007-02-07T11:59:00.000+08:00

So far so good, I'm kinda satisfied with the new look of my blog....
Hm.... still thinkin' off what to do & add.....
Working out recreating my blog was never an easy thing when i did it for the first time.
However, things seems sorted out & looks pretty easier than before. *applause for myself*
Now I shall post up my major topic...wel not really a topic, just something I'm doing right not to earn all by my own hardwork. Okok not really my own still got the electicity bill, water bill, petrol cost......etc n so on.... Anyway, I shall put in more effort & hope that I'm known for my delicious cake *wink wink*

i'm back now!~!~

2007-02-07T11:53:00.000+08:00

After so so long.......
finally I'm back again working out my blog.
Why after so long I'm back again?
What have I done all this while?
Where have I been for not working out my blog?
ooooooooo..... just too many questions. However, I will try to blog more often as I can.
Well, let's hear bout it first *hehe* no promises.

Bizzare Secretz >> True Facts from the Da Vince Code

2006-06-08T22:20:00.000+08:00

The Secret Life of Leonardo da Vinci
A prankster and genius, Leonardo da Vinci is widely believed to have hidden secret messages within much of his artwork. Most scholars agree that even Da Vinci's most famous pieces—works like The Mona Lisa, The Last Supper, and Madonna of the Rocks—contain startling anomalies that all seem to be whispering the same cryptic message…a message that hints at a shocking historical secret which allegedly has been guarded since 1099 by a European secret society known as the Priory of Sion. In 1975, Paris's Bibliothèque Nationale discovered parchments known as Les Dossiers Secrets, identifying numerous members of the Priory of Sion, including Sir Isaac Newton, Victor Hugo, Botticelli, and Leonardo da Vinci. French President, Francois Mitterrand, is rumored to have been a member, although there exists no proof of this.

An Unbroken Code
There exists a chapel in Great Britain that contains a ceiling from which hundreds of stone blocks protrude, jutting down to form a bizarre multi-faceted surface. Each block is carved with a symbol, seemingly at random, creating a cipher of unfathomable proportion. Modern cryptographers have never been able to break this code, and a generous reward is offered to anyone who can decipher the baffling message. In recent years, geological ultrasounds have revealed the startling presence of an enormous subterranean vault hidden beneath the chapel. This vault appears to have no entrance and no exit. To this day, the curators of the chapel have permitted no excavation.

243 Lexington Avenue, New York
The Vatican prelature known as Opus Dei is a deeply devout Catholic sect that has become controversial recently due to allegations of brainwashing, coercion, and a dangerous practice known as "corporal mortification." Opus Dei has recently completed construction of a $47 million, 133,000-square-foot American Headquarters at 243 Lexington Avenue in New York City.

Someone is watching you...or are they?
The Louvre Museum in Paris is one of the longest buildings on earth. Walking around the entire perimeter of this horseshoe-shaped edifice is a three-mile journey. Even so, the Louvre's collection of art is so vast that only a fraction of its works can be displayed on the walls. Inside the galleries, a multitude of security cameras watch over visitors. The number of cameras is so great that a staff of several hundred wardens would be required to monitor all of them. In fact, most of the cameras are fake.

Da Vinci's slap on the wrist.
Da Vinci's original commission for his famous Madonna of the Rocks came from an organization known as the Confraternity of the Immaculate Conception, which needed a painting for the centerpiece of an altar triptych in their church of San Francesco Grand in Milan. The nuns gave Leonardo specific dimensions and a desired theme—the Virgin Mary, baby John The Baptist, Uriel, and Baby Jesus sheltering in a cave. Although Da Vinci did as they requested, when he delivered the work, the group reacted with horror. The painting contained several disturbing "un-Christian" anomalies, which seemed to convey a hidden message and alternative meaning. Da Vinci eventually mollified the confraternity by painting them a second version of Madonna of the Rocks, which now hangs in London's National Gallery under the name Virgin of the Rocks. Da Vinci's original hangs at the Louvre in Paris.

D-coding D Code

2006-06-08T22:15:00.000+08:00

DECODING 'THE DA VINCI CODE'

Source : MSNBC Newsweek Society http://www.msnbc.com/news/999422.asp

Did Leonardo include Mary Magdalene in his “Last Supper”?

Most art scholars say no. The figure reputed to be Mary Magdalene is actually the beloved disciple John, who is usually depicted young and clean-shaven.

Were Jesus and Mary M. married?

Although there is no way to prove or disprove this, most experts consider it highly unlikely. Their main argument: there is no mention of it in canonical writings.

Was Mary M. a prostitute?

This misperception probably began with a sermon by Pope Gregory the Great in A.D. 591 in which he conflated several figures into one. In 1969 the Vatican officially overruled Gregory.

Are Opus Dei and the Priory of Sion real organizations?

Yes, but there is no indication that either is involved in any plot to conceal or reveal secrets of the Holy Grail.

What is the Holy Grail?

The most widely accepted idea is that it was the cup used by Christ at the Last Supper. Others have hypothesized that it was a secret book. In the 12th century a French abbot claimed to possess it; his silver chalice now resides in the National Gallery of Art in Washington, D.C.

Did male leaders cover up the true role of women in the early church?

Yes, in the sense that history is written by the winners, and in a patriarchal society, men had a big edge.

What happened to Mary M. after the Resurrection?

Nobody knows. In the Eastern Orthodox tradition, she went to Turkey. A Western legend says she went to Provence.

Is there a secret cache of documents that reveal the true history of Christianity?

No one knows, but scholars are busy analyzing ancient documents found in Egypt in the last century. These texts, known as the Gnostic Gospels, were lost for centuries, and could shed new light on the origins of the church.

Did Leonardo hide clues about church secrets in his paintings?

Art historians doubt it.

i've read, watched & breaked the CODE

2006-06-08T13:07:00.000+08:00

THE DA VINCI CODE
The murder of a renowned French curator sent the entire French state into panic, and the only man who can help investigate the crime is none other than Robert Langdon. Langdon is a Harvard symbologist, is dedicated to revealing the mysteries of ancient codes. Who would have guessed that Leonardo Da Vinci's legendary painting of Mona Lisa hides the secrets to Christianity that has never been revealed to the world before? With the help of stunning Sophie Neveu, estranged granddaughter of the murdered curator, Langdon helps to find the murderer and make the French policemen's lives easier, by putting his life on the line.

when the da vinci code hitz the theaters, i was so excited and couldn't wait to watch it. but one day i was Q-ing and staring at the tv info showing how many sits left and the moment me & YF reached the counter to grab 2 tickets, it seems that it's sold like hot cupcakes fresh from the oven. feeling disappointed, we then decide to watch Over the Hedge >> cute cool and funny. really worth watching and after that movie it did overocmed my disappointment.

I was pretty lucky though cos thanx to YF's sis who booked extra tickets, then we managed to watch it few days later *haha*. i would give the director and the production *2 thumbs up*. it's really worth watching ya... i was thinking of grabbin a dvd in store to keep it *hehe* family haven't watch yet especially mum who wanted to read the book but the movie's already out. NVM will advice mum to read before watching.

************************

VINCI vs. GEISHA

i've read Memoirs of a Geisha

i've read Da Vinci Code

i've watched Memoirs of a Geisha

i've watched Da Vinci Code

frankly speaking, Da Vinci Code is much more worth to be watched than Memoirs of a Geisha. WHY???

Memoirs of a Geisha i would say that the art is there and the culture is same as described in the book. but i still prefer the book than the movie cos; if i watch the movie before i read the book, i wouldn't have undertsand why is it like this and why is it so......etc??? question warks will keep popping up and blinking on my head and after i have finish watching the movie i wonder if i'll find wrinkles printed on my forehead. well for a little credit, i did struggle to imagine Sayuri's first performance when i first read the book but after watching the movie, GREAT!!

same goes to Da Vinci Code lucky enough i manage to finish the book before the movie hitz the theaters. after reading + watching = exciting >> why stil excited of since i know the story d? actually cos i wana know how it gona looks like in reality picture *haha* tatz wat i'm excited of. the movie compressed the 2 inches thick book into +- 2 hours show; but at least the movie pictured the correct main point and there's a smooth flow in the storyline connecting and leading to the next scene which will not leave a gap and question marks all over. i can't deny there's total zero questions..but the questions are not regard of the movie's flow but the questions everyone might be asking will be how true is this? how true is that? and does it really exists?

Surprizin Morning

2006-06-07T22:26:00.000+08:00

We don't need to have a special day or special occasion to give flowers. Flower can be given anytime to anyone when you feel like giving them to let them know that "you are in my mind".....

But my situation is kind of rare...err...maybe because I’m single so I would say it kind of rare to me especially it happens early in the morning. I’m still asleep but was forced to wake up to answer missed call then get out from bed to wait for the delivery as told by the caller. After I hung up the phone, I was still in daze and half awake, brush my teeth and wash my face and thinking what’s for me early in the morning?

Then it is a basket of fresh roses and lilies for me from ……. anonymous...no name written from whom on the card.....

So sweet and nice, receiving a basket of flower from that someone.... Do you think it’s really sweet and nice??? Cos it's actually a basket of fresh flowers after a big fight last night *haha*.....anyway thanx to you "dear" =p

False @larm !...!...!...!

2006-05-29T14:28:00.000+08:00

it just happened just now on one fine sunny afternoon..........

me>> bz loading resume to apply a job.

FERN>> bz installing game into com.

....SUDDENLY....

the dried clothes lined outside sending out SOS call. And i heard big real big rain drops dropping on the roof. FERN & i dash out from the room, as i couldn't believe it "what? it's so sunny just now and suddenly rain right now???"

as i reach the back door, i look out on the floor, no rain drops. but there's rain drops sound from the roof. GUESS WHAT???? it's not earthquake effect from Indonesia that causes things to shake nor cats playing hide and seek on the rooftop.

IT'S A WHAT?? WHAT???

it's a tractor bz workin in front of my house....

so, don't you think it's a FALSE ALARM given by the clothes??

*hehe*

but anyway i tink it's safer to keep the clothes in right now.

^^ SuSi SuShi ^^

2006-05-26T21:27:00.000+08:00

first, strawberry baked cheesecake..... now, sushi........ then, what it'll gona be next?? hmmm.....

mum goin NZ tomoro, so she miss me making up food for her *hehe*perasan abit* but actually it's true, as above, first mum request for chessecake, so i make one for her, but before i could start baking, mum start requesting for sushi...ooooooooo... "mummy say wana eat my sushi before go NZ wor...."...."okla"... hey not doin it insincerely okie its just "oh! sushi?? again? oh, ok then, friday for it"

~mix mix mix~

cut cut cut

~fry fry fry~

press press press

~stick here n there~

line filling

~roll roll roll over~

VIOLA!! -chup! not yet, nonit slice meh?? of cos need la

slice slice slice

now VIOLA!!

nice?? delicious ya....yummie yum yum!!! =p

Successful Chezcake~!~!~!

2006-05-24T17:57:00.001+08:00

yipee, finally it's all set, nice and done & deliciouzzzzzzzzzzzz......yummie~~ yum~~ Yum~~

here i present it 2 you my

** STRAWBERRY BAKED CHEESECAKE **

nice? nice?? *hehehe*

wana try??? mmmmmmm.......

this is actually the 2nd time baking strawberry baked cheesecake... the 1st time was a disaster, it supposed 2 b served nicely Mother's day's cake but it end up to be jst for extra dessert day although the previous one turn out ugly but it still tasted as good as this one up ther ^^^

how it happened 2 b a disaster? wel >>> 11th May, i went Carrefour to grab some ingredients but there i can't find a heart shape baking tin, so gota go back to nearby house shop CARSON and buy one. Went back home and start processing, everything's goin on fine, after that it's time to water bath baking, i filled up the tray with water and place the heart shape tin filled with cake mixture in the water.

70 minutes passed, time to take the cake out and leave it cool, to my surprise and dissapointment, the cake seems wet and soggy...y???? how come?? my measurement is all right and exactly the same....to my horror, it's all because of >>> THE BAKING TIN!!!!! <<<>

howeva, i've learn my lesson tru tis disaster and it helped me to bake a better cake. SERIOUSLY IT REALLY TASTED GREAT!!! =)

chek tz out!

2006-05-19T15:48:00.000+08:00

pics are taken before Er-jie and Jae-won leaves to catch their bus back to KL -holidays over-

hmm...1st Sabah, 2nd Sarawak, now Korean?? i wonder friend from which country Er Jie gona bring home next....Hongkie? Aussie? ... and d list goes on around the globe :p ....

those are the pics....

people missing in action are me=photographer, and Ta Jie=somewhere behind buzyin'

left 2 rite >> Er Jie, Jae-won, Dady, Mumy, Meimei

stil not full member? missing in action is dady=next photographerleft 2 d right >> Ta Jie, Er Jie , ME lo..., Jae-won, Mumy, Meimei

WelC0min9 new MemBer....

2006-05-19T15:13:00.000+08:00

isn't she's cute?

isn't she's so smiley?

isn't she's pretty?

isn't she makes u scream?

welcoming our new princess, my lovely cousin sis+a ~ Jia Yee (did i get her spelling right :p)

OOOPSSSS!!!! CORRECTION>>>>JIA YI =)

1st day in class

2006-05-19T14:55:00.000+08:00

hey, it's not sumkind of study stuff ok...this is learning stuff kinda class k..

yipee...it's my 1st day in dancing class las night, am so glad finaly i fot the chance to attend one. shake ur booty, swing that hands up in d air, stretch baby stretch..okok don get me wrong k..

wel, i'm learning sumkind of dance called the *drums rolling please* MODERN JAZZ *some applause hehe*

"people let's start some warming up first" that's what our trainer said.
~stretch stretch, breath in breath out~ now start...
wow almost lost my breath half way and missed my steps...some gets hair-wired...wacky wacko but we did manage to get it right..some pat on the shoulder-Good!

oh, 1 hours is ain't enough to get it hot, just started to get high but it's end of the class. gota wait 4 a week for my next class...

can't wait & am looking forward 2 it...yea!!!!

*c3|!n3m!n9*